


That First Crush Feel

by notherhappyending



Series: Femslash100 Weekly Challenges [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crushes, Drabble, F/F, Femslash, First Love, Heartbreak, Obsession, implied Stannis/Davos, mentioned Margaery/Myrcella, teenage girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 18:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4489920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notherhappyending/pseuds/notherhappyending
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A first crush story of related drabbles where Shireen pines for Myrcella. (AKA, Shireen acts like a teenage girl with all the feelings.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> written for femslash100's remainder week with challenges #1-10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - awakening

Myrcella sits across from her. Pink lips pressed together, she weaves the needle back and forth. Golden hair cascades down past her newly blossomed chest. Shireen did not notice that development last time she visited Kings Landing. 

Shireen tries to focus. She has done this a thousand times. It’s so damn simple. She puts the thread on the needle and works it through the fabric. Her needlework has never been the best, but it is certainly not the worst. 

Yet, now, the sharp metal of the needle pricks her skin and sets free both a small explanation and the gathering of red at the place of impact. She feels hot tears gather at the corner of her eyes and embarrassment well up within her.

“Here, let me help.” 

Shireen raises her eyes to see Myrcella standing above her, hand outstretched. She blushes at the soft touch of the girl’s hands on her own.


	2. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - secrets

Shireen wanders around the castle at night. King’s Landing is a much more interesting place when the sun has set and the candles have been blown out. In the light, she is judged for the ugly grey scarring on her face. In the night, she is a fly on the wall. She gathers secrets like other girls collect shells or dolls. One day, they will be valuable. 

Some of them, though, she plans to keep.

Every night, Myrcella brushes her hair before bed. She allows her ladies to undress her and then dismisses them. She never lets anyone else touch her golden hair. The brush makes its way from top to bottom forty-three times. 

Shireen is jealous of her brush. She longs to run her fingers through Myrcella’s glorious hair.


	3. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - surprise

Cersei arranges a fancy garden party for Myrcella’s name day. When the invitation addressed to the Stannis and kin arrives, Shireen demands that they attend. Though, her father expresses distaste in playing nice with his brother’s family, Davos kindly reminds him that it is in poor taste to give Cersei a reason to run her mouth.

Shireen spends days deciding exactly what to wear, settling on a light lavender gown that makes her feel like a princess. She knows that Myrcella loves that particular hue from her choices of thread and fabric in needlework. Then, she picks out the perfect gift for Myrcella. 

Holding the headband, a circlet of silver leaves, Shireen enters the garden several steps ahead of Stannis and Davos. She immediately looks for the guest of honour, ready to surprise her. Myrcella will have to notice her now.


	4. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - discovery

Circlet in hand, Shireen works her way through the party guests. Some smile at her with pity and others look away uncomfortably at her presence. _How dare this child bring her disease here?_

If it weren’t for Myrcella, Shireen would have much preferred to spend her afternoon in her chambers with a book. But, she has a purpose. Myrcella has never looked at her in the way that the adults do. Shireen loves her for that.

“Myrcella!” 

Shireen finding herself shouting and running across the clearing when she catches sight of the girl’s golden locks. She turns around at the sound of her name.

Shireen drops her gift when she sees it. Myrcella’s lips pull away from Margaery’s. 

Shireen runs.


	5. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - heartbreak

Shireen avoids Myrcella and needlework for a fortnight. Davos tries to coax the truth out of her, bringing her favourite stews and sitting next to her for prolonged periods of time. Stannis tells him to leave her be, that she’s just being a teenager, but Davos does not listen. 

Shireen cannot bear to read her favourite books anymore. The tales of romantic quests and princesses only remind her of Myrcella. She hears the mention of gold and feels her stomach lurch. 

How can she bring herself to eat? How can she smile? How can she even pretend to be okay when all she can feel is the devastating fracture in her heart?


	6. Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - mirror

The greyscale has been there for as long as Shireen can recall. She has stared forlornly into the looking glass for hours at a time, praying to the Seven to make her pretty. If the gods hear her, they never respond.

Since catching Myrcella and Margaery in the gardens, the greyscale is no longer the most salient thing that Shireen sees reflected back at her. In the looking glass, Shireen sees absence.

She is not Margaery. She does not have the flirty smirk or the ever-curling chestnut hair. Shireen is plain and flat-chested, much like her lady mother. When she looks at herself, she sees her failures. _Myrcella could never love someone like her._


	7. Selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - selfish

When Myrcella shows up outside Shireen’s chambers late one evening, just looking for a shoulder to cry on, Shireen screams internally. She knows it is wrong to take advantage of her misery, but when she listens to the details of Margaery breaking Myrcella’s heart, she nods and embraces the Lannister girl. 

As she holds the sobbing girl to her, Shireen runs her hands through the golden hair and drinks in the soft smell of perfumed skin. She has never been happier. She prays that Myrcella cannot the uncontrollable beating of her wild heart.

“Thank you, Shireen.” Myrcella finally sniffles.

“Anytime.”


	8. Goals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - goals

“I want to get over her.” Myrcella confesses as she takes a sip of wine. “It’s my goal.”

“Good.” Shireen nods.

“I don’t know how, though.” Myrcella frowns. “How do you get over someone who broke your heart?”

“Trust me.” Shireen laughs, bitterly. “I wish I knew.”

“Well, it’s not like I can ask my mother. She’d probably suggest poison.”

“Well, that might not be a terrible suggestion.” Shireen giggles.

“No, I’m serious.” Myrcella sighs. “My mother would have Margaery’s head for hurting me. I don’t want that. I still love her, you know?”

“Oh.” Shireen frowns. “Right.”

“But, maybe we could set fire to the letters she wrote me?”

“I can fetch some candles from Melisandre.” Shireen offers, eagerly. “Maybe even find some cursed ones. 

“You’re the best.”


	9. Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - lessons

Shireen waits until Stannis and Davos have left the castle on official business before she approaches the Red Priestess with her query. Holding her fists balled at her side for confidence, she asks for help with casting a love spell to get Myrcella’s attention.

Melisandre hesitates at first before agreeing. She teaches Shireen how to light the candle with intent and the importance of focusing on the purpose of the spell. Shireen watches intently, taking the lessons to heart. She studies the beautiful woman as she demonstrates her art. Shireen does not think that Melisandre, with her harsh beauty, has ever needed to cast a love spell.

Unfortunately, Shireen does not have this luxury.


	10. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt - regret

On the day of the ritual, Myrcella brings the letters from Margaery’s hand and Shireen carries the candle that Melisandre gave her. They set themselves up in the garden, far from the roses, 

Just as the flame touches the letters, Shireen feels Myrcella’s hand squeeze hers in a trusting and warm show of camaraderie. She feels the girl lean into her side and her heart sinks with regret. _Why did she want to cast a spell to make Myrcella love her? What kind of love is that?_

Shireen blows out the candle and kisses Myrcella, proving that she does not need a spell to earn her affection.


End file.
